MLS’s season pauses this coming weekend for the All-Star game. According to Marc Connolly’s column on the rhythm of the season, the “Dog Days” - e.g. the long summer stretch when there will always be next week - “are officially over” once the All-Star game comes and goes. The question to ask, then, is where all the teams are at this point, the regular season’s second starting line?
Kyle McCarthy took his shot at this over on USSoccerplayers.com by organizing a composite league table - i.e. he listed and analyzed each team in the league by total number of points earned. It makes as much sense to acknowledge that, even if the teams in the East all suck, at least three of those so-far-undeserving teams will play in the post-season. So, working by current placement through the two conferences, where are we, or rather MLS’s 12 teams, now?
Western Conference
FC Dallas (39 points, 12-5-3 (W-L-T))
Curse this team for making me believe, for at least the 9th time, they can win it all. A week after sneaking a late win out of Salt Lake City through a half-anonymous substitute (Abe Thompson?), FC Dallas gave Colorado a 4-1 hiding this past Saturday. And, with so much of their attacking talent limping up the sideline - Carlos Ruiz, Ronnie O’Brien, Roberto Mina - this team seems capable of more still when everyone’s back. Now only six points behind a DC United team that, until this weekend, couldn’t stop collecting points, it’s worth wondering whether MLS Cup will have a true home team this season (um, meaning that FC Dallas could reach the final, which will be played at Pizza Hut Park this year - and, by the way, MLS should really ditch the “neutral ground” final...wretched idea...). Like I said, I’m starting to believe again...which usually dooms a team...
Houston Dynamo (32 points, 8-4-8)
Call this time the high-end of schizophrenic. Like a lot of teams in MLS this 2006, during which inconsistency has stood tall, the Dynamo can’t claim to greatness even as they’ve outperformed the majority. Even if it’s one point to your side’s ledger, having an equal number of ties to wins hardly calls for celebration. They’ve looked OK every time I’ve seen them, so it’s hard to say exactly what ails them. But third best, where Houston is now, can’t be enough. The question is, what is needed to take this team a step higher? They’re nearly always hard to beat and they score often enough (30 goals for), so what’s the deal-e-yo? Couldn’t tell you, but something has to change.
Colorado Rapids (28 points, 8-7-4)
Colorado shares the league’s worst defensive record with Real Salt Lake, though it’s fair to note that this weekend’s 4-1 loss to FC Dallas played a part in getting them there. But it’s the goals for category that tells the tale of why, in spite of having won two more games than Chivas USA, Colorado sits only two points above them in the table. More than Houston, Colorado’s season is completely consistent with MLS inconsistent season - call it Parity Gone Mad. Still, changes seem imminent, whether through Pablo Mastroeni going abroad or head coach Fernando Clavijo indulging his nature and shopping for new players as McCarthy suggests. Given their form, this can’t hurt. In the end, they’ll probably do enough to join an LA Galaxy team in squeezing the league’s two expansion teams out of the playoffs.
Chivas USA (26 points, 6-6-8)
The Goats’ past two games, both 3-3 draws (LINK and LINK), the latest to Real Salt Lake, give the impression that this team leaks goals like the Titanic after the iceberg, but, in reality, Chivas’ goals against number is well within league tolerances; they’re tied with three other teams for second-worst defensive record at 28 goals. They’re also six points clear in the Western Conference’s final playoff spot. That’s swell for a second-year team, even in MLS. Moreover, they’re not struggling to score (refer again to the pair of 3-3 draws), like half the league; they’re actually third overall in goals scored. Barring a total collapse, Chivas will enjoy a better 2006 than 2005. The question of whether they hang on for the post-season once the LA Galaxy, their co-tenants in the Home Depot Center, wake up and start playing is something else again. Hope inclines me to say they’ll do it.
Real Salt Lake (20 points, 5-10-5)
My complete embrace of RSL’s suckiness (LINK and LINK) made this weekend's shock win over DC United all the sweeter; folks out Salt Lake way must have had kittens in the stands. Not only did RSL topple the DC United juggernaut, they pulled it off in a fashion so ugly and devastating - two penalty kicks, both after the 85th minute - as to make it beautiful. Think of it: just as DC thought they’d ground out another 1-0 win - POW!! - RSL comes out of somewhere South of Nowhere to shit all over the 14-game streak without a loss. The best results in sports are the ones you don’t expect and the lame joke inserted into last Friday’s previews gets at how unexpected this was. Sadly, these are the moments that will provide all the pleasures in RSL’s 2006 season. Much as I like Mehdi Ballouchy, there’s just not enough on this roster to make even MLS’s softer grade. Again, I'd be pleased to be wrong here. My affection for RSL deepens every week.
LA Galaxy (20 points, 5-10-5)
Sometimes, one needs the numbers immediately before them to make clear just how bad something truly is. This is not a typo: the LA Galaxy, the defending champions of MLS, are dead last in the West courtesy of goal differential. That is, they’re dead last behind R-frickin’-SL, the league's near-term gold standard for incompetence. Given that they’re tied for second-best on goals against, that tied-for-worst goals for figure seems the likely villain. Bad as things may seem in the Galaxy’s half of La-La Land, the silly reality is that two LA wins combined with two losses from Chivas USA brings the former into the playoff picture - assuming, of course, that RSL doesn’t slip the world another mickey. No, this doesn’t speak well of the league. MLS may be one of the few leagues in the world in which first-to-worst can happen, but the odds seem against this happening. If they make the playoffs, I’ll manage. If they pull the same shit they did in 2005 and win MLS Cup, I’ll be so, so indescribably disappointed. We’re talking Postal disappointed*.
*DISCLAIMER: No, I’m not serious. It’s just a game.
Eastern Conference
DC United (45 points, 13-2-6)
That’s the threat for this team: having a great season only to throw it away with a lapse or four in concentration. This weekend’s loss to RSL constitutes the stuff of nightmares for any team. Once the playoffs roll around, lapses are deadly, but not the least impossible. But the reality is, this remains a very, very good team; they’re still the odds-on favorites of reaching, perhaps even winning, the final. In any case, if a lapse must come, better to have it now when the games really don’t matter...here’s why...
New England Revolution (26 points, 6-6-8)
19 motherfucking points: that’s the distance between first and second in the woeful East. Fortunately...well, let’s not get carried away...whatever one calls it, I happened to see this weekend’s televised game on FOX Soccer Channel, which featured what were the second and fifth-place teams in the East, the New England Revolution and the Kansas City Wizards. Though he bellowed like a two-year-old, Matt Reis owns the one goal New England gave up. The real pain came with watching New England labor for the equalizer. Sadly, this tells the story of their season: their “money game” - playing down the flanks and crossing in for Taylor Twellman - relies on decent crosses, which were definitely in short (short, short) supply last Saturday. Any team that plays as predictably as New England needs better quality to compensate - and it just ain’t there right now; I haven't even seen glimpses of it. Well, there’s one exception: Clint “Heading Overseas” Dempsey. His sharp pass sent Steve Ralston in for the tying goal, but the play came down the middle, instead of the flanks; all in all, Dempsey was involved in every threatening movement the Revs pulled together. What happens when he goes? The machinery for success is there: two talented first-team strikers (Twellman, when he gets service, and Pat Noonan), a solid midfield (Ralston, Shalrie Joseph, and, now, Andy Dorman), and, normally, a decent back four. Something’s unsettled out New England way. If the quality returns, they’ll do fine - especially given MLS’ super forgiving rules of competition. But that “if” is damn near defining.
Red Bull New York (24 points, 5-6-9)
Gawd, that’s nauseating. A 5-6-9 record should never snag anyone third place in any competition, but it only took a 3-1-1 streak for Red Bull to pull that off. All in all, there are players on this team to admire - Edson Buddle and Seth Stammler, to name two - and back-up ‘keeper Joe Conway made some fine saves Saturday (see Sights & Sounds for this, and the Revs equalizer, my goal of the week), but these guys are playing above themselves - and they still ain’t much. Given everything - mainly, that the East just sucks - they’ll probably make the post-season once again. Just getting Bruce Arena in the coach’s chair - a man who knows how to limit damage - should see to that. But - good Gawd! - they won’t deserve it.
Chicago Fire(22 points, 5-5-7)
Kyle McCarthy raises a good point on this one: where’s the grumbling about head coach Dave Sarachan’s continued tenure in Chicago? If it’s down to the question of who would replace him, that’s one thing. But, looking at results alone, he’s hardly making a great case for holding onto it. With the exception of what I said about changes being on the way, most of what I wrote about Colorado applies here as well: this is simply one more mediocre team in a league that seems full of them. There’s some quality and potential quality on this roster (Diego Gutierrez, Ivan Guerrero, Thiago, and C. J. Brown for the former, Chris Rolfe and Justin Mapp, for the latter; Nate Jaqua is in between, but increasingly leans toward the former), but it’s either green or not gelling. Count Chicago - along with Red Bull New York and the two teams to come below - as being in a four-way race for the honor of getting knocked out of the first round of the (ridiculous, bloated) playoffs.
Kansas City Wizards (21 points, 6-11-3)
Something is clearly wrong in Kansas City. A team with KC’s roster should not be on the outside of the (ridiculous, bloated) playoff picture looking in. And yet they are. As mentioned above, I saw them play this weekend and they played tolerably well. Oh, something else I saw: EDDIE JOHNSON IS OVERRATED; he served as little more than a distraction in KC’s attack, which can’t be excused given his salary; this kid is making star money for this league and it’s past time he earned it. He certainly didn’t show well on the one or two breakaway(s) either. With Bob Gansler gone - and rightly so - it’s very difficult to recommend a fix for this team. Of all the teams in the four-way race, however, count the Wizards the likeliest candidate for a Phoenix-esque, late-season recovery. But there’s also reason to suspect it will take the off-season to fix this team.
Columbus Crew (20 points, 4-9-8)
With 21 games played - one more than the other two teams on 20 points (LA and RSL) - it’s official: the Columbus Crew is the worst team in the league heading into the All-Star break. Having seen them exclusively in highlights - for which I’m grateful - I don’t have much insight into what’s wrong. Whatever it is, though, it’s very, very wrong and it starts with their -12 goal differential and meager 16 goals scored. Beyond saying this is just one more team in the dreaded four-way race, there’s nothing more.
+++++++
Well, that’s the story. The only other interesting item comes with the curious and happy reports that Brian McBride has generated unwanted transfer rumors. Good for him; I take that as a sign of respect.
ESPN finally got their Power Rankings worked out, but haven’t yet made them accessible (ah, here they are - and look who got passed). Maybe I’ll put those out tomorrow. With the All-Star game coming this weekend, Lord knows I’ll have ample time to post fluff...
...or will I? Round Four of the U.S. Open Cup does start tomorrow night. Go Roma FC!!
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