What Alexi Said...

Do I really want to do this? Mmmm....maybe...yeah...all right. Let's get it over with.

Any American soccer fan (and probably a fair chunk of the English ones) who does not live inside a cardboard box in the middle of their living room knows by now what Los Angeles Galaxy GM Alexi Lalas said about the English Premier League (EPL) and Major League Soccer's (MLS) quality relative to it (if you don't, here you go). And, yes, Lalas said some silly things as he is wont to do; not surprisingly, Lalas' comments propagated a slew of equally silly comments in response. And, here I am, chucking one more silly comment on this raging bonfire of inanity...(don't blame me; I didn't lower the threshold for publishing into the public sphere - I'm pretty sure that was god - me, I'm just exploiting it):

Who cares what the Brits think about the American game? Seriously. We owe them one, solitary debt when it comes to soccer: the creation of the game. OK, they get bonus points for spreading it (though someone once told me it was the Scots who invented the forward pass...whoops, a Scot is a Brit...moving on....). After that, they're just one other team in the world and we'll find out who is better next time we play them. Maybe someday their clubs will meet ours in a setting that is in some way meaningful, etc. All in all, it's pretty simple: you can tell which league is better by what they do on the field.

Moving on to some of the specifics:

Is the EPL an "inferior product"?: I say yes, though the first question that follows is "inferior to what?" I'll address the competitiveness angle below, but I find the league boring because, not only do the same few teams always win, but there's also very little change in who is meaningfully competitive. And, from an aesthetic point of view, I don't find the sometimes-skilled (depends on the player) hyper-drive spazzing of the EPL all that fun to watch. But that's how I get my kicks. Others like what they like and, eventually, the market - TV, tickets, etc. - will decide which is "better." But in terms of dollar-value across the 20 team EPL, I'd say the collected fans of, oh, 14 EPL teams get the shaft week-in and out due to the competitive imbalance in the EPL. Even the goddamn FA Cup is going stale.

MLS players wouldn't "miss a beat" in the EPL?: Had Alexi not said this, his comments would have been entirely uncontroversial - or, rather, they should have been. For what it's worth, if an all-MLS team containing as many players and available reserves as the EPL average transplanted to England for a season, I think they'd hover right around mid-table. In this little fantasy, we're talking about a team featuring the league's best; I'm guessing an expanded, average-quality MLS team would fight the drop all season. So, in this sense, I think it's fair to admit the EPL isn't inferior...

Anyway, there's some concern the Brits might laugh at us Americans via Alexi. Eh, so what? We dragged them into an endless war...like to see them top that...

(#########)

MLS Snobbery: Confirmed

I don't think there's a clearer sign that I've lost interest in following the club game around the world, than the decision I made yesterday.

For reasons not worth discussing, I happened to be at home, which made sitting down to take in the Champions' Cup semifinal between Liverpool and Chelsea easy enough (result - for the curious). And yet I arranged my day to see the Kansas City Wizards take on Toronto FC. Moreover, I found that plenty interesting and don't remotely regret my choice.

It's a curious path I'm on with regard to Liverpool, who was once "my team," and the EPL in general: I spent one season (late 1990s; couldn't say when) drinking a shot of gin for every goal Liverpool scored (the famous 4-3 fight back against Newcastle was the closest I've come before or since to getting cut off); when I saw Liverpool win the League Cup in 2001, the relief was such that I felt some tickling of nausea. Fast forward to (was it?) the 2005 Champions' Cup victory, the one where Liverpool looked all but dead against Barcelona before a dizzying 5-10 minute spell got them right back in it - I didn't see even one of those goals, but stuck around for the PKs that decided. And it was merely OK.

That takes the story to yesterday. If I ever doubted my interest in the EPL has ended, I don't any more. And don't interpret this as self-congratulation because I'm not proud of this or anything - more surprised, I suppose, given the years spent going to a smoky bar every weekend to catch the Premier League. And Lord knows I'm not claiming Major League Soccer is in any way superior. It's closer to the truth to acknowledge that as irrelevant. Put another way, I don't know how this happens; I only know that it can.