I give up. Just when you think one - just one - Major League Soccer (MLS) team can hold their shit together and do a decent imitation of consistency, they spend 90 minutes running around with their pants around their ankles. It seems the Annual Mush of Sweaty Mediocrity (your people call it “summer”) has arrived.
For the record, the entire middle portion of these rankings was arrived at by writing each teams name on a piece of paper, scrambling those around my desk, and flipping them over in random order. OK, that’s a lie. But I don’t think that would produce less accurate, or even meaningful, results. In broad terms, some teams have noticeably improved - think Columbus and Houston here - while others revived their fortunes, but not without tripping over some question marks (New England); other teams suffered mysterious slips, thereby stitching big red question marks over those rainbows on their jerseys...the allusion should be obvious here.
As always, last week’s ranking appears in parentheses immediately after this week’s ranking. So as to not misrepresent my judgment as entirely first-hand, here’s a key for my viewing: “@” means I watched a given team’s most recent performance in its entirety; “$” means I caught it through Quick Kicks, which provides extended highlights; “%” means I watched only the rump highlights available through MLSnet.com.
Here goes...and after the rankings, you’ll find a current listing of the standings for the permanent record.
1. (6) Houston Dynamo (% + nada)
They have out-scored the opposition 11-3 over the past five, racking up five wins on the way; that counts two away games as well. That constitutes a roll in my world. To top it all off, they’ve got Dallas next weekend, who they not only generally own, but, given that they won last weekend, should be due a loss this weekend.
2. (1) DC United (%)
In spite of what I read (all over the place), I’ll give DC the benefit of the doubt and call this weekend a brain-fart...but I also couldn’t leave them at #1 after they let RSL break their hot, steamy duck all over them.
3. (5) New England Revolution (@)
Yep, they’re officially top of the league. But it was a graceless win against a Toronto team apparently confused about being away from home. The finishing was there, but not much else. But they’re indisputably doing better than most (and, I just discovered, they’ve tied for scoring lead and have the best goal differential...hmm...).
4. (4) Red Bull New York (idle)
Holding steady...but they’ll drop quickly if they don’t sort out their defense.
5. (8) FC Dallas (far too much of @)
Unconvincing (and harrowingly boring) wins look a lot less impressive when bookended by losses - as this one will be (see above). The reality is, Dallas isn’t as erratic as I think, but the games-played “bubble” on which they’re sitting keeps me from thinking too much of them. Then again, their away record makes up for that. Very confusing team, this one.
6. (2) Kansas City Wizards ($ + nada)
Speaking of teams needing to sort out defense, KC is the real case-study for this. No doubt KC wishes Week 12 never happened. The picture looks a lot less rosy now that the offense has dried up.
7. (9) Columbus Crew ($ + $)
It’s only due to a belief that the “real” Columbus has shown up that I’m able to rank them inside the playoff picture. But the Crew’s two wins in Week 12 justifiably raise eyebrows - that each raises them for different reasons only reinforces the impression this team could be finding their feet.
8. (3) Chivas USA (%)
My previous, ridiculous ranking has more to do with this drop than the four-goal loss. Still, a score of Brad Davis 3 - 0 Chivas USA doesn’t look so hot. I’ll actually have to watch these guys this weekend to figure out what to do with ‘em.
9. (7) Toronto FC (@)
I can only say, the hell was that? If these guys don’t figure out how to avoid blowouts on the road, goal differential alone will keep them out of the post-season.
10. (11) Colorado Rapids (far too much of @)
They may not be the worst team in the league - so many good candidates below - but they’re pushing hard for “Team I’d Least Like to Watch” honors. It’s a shame what’s happening in Colorado; this year promised so much.
11. (10) Los Angeles Galaxy ($)
Ahem...ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, HA!! 60 minutes with a man advantage - and against Columbus! Landon can’t arrive soon enough; neither can Pavon or Beckham. Incredibly, they may not be enough (though I think they will be).
12. (13) Real Salt Lake (%)
Robbie Findley (a good Oregon lad!) finally kicked the winless monkey off this team’s back. Better still, they catch something of a break in hosting Toronto this weekend (dammit! what to watch?!). Can they make it two? Do RSL fans dare to dream?
13. (12) Chicago Fire (idle)
I think I just don’t like Chicago. That the coming cavalry runs “exactly like elderly men run,” and the players sounding unsettled-to-pissed, things aren’t looking everywhere but up.
Please, lord, no more...it’s madness. Let’s do something concrete, like the standings (official edition here):
Eastern Conference
1. New England Revs: 22 pts. (6-2-4: 24 GF, 14 GA, +10; home, 3-1-2; away, 3-1-2)
2. Red Bull New York: 21 pts. (6-3-3: 24 GF, 15 GA, +9; home, 4-1-1; away, 2-2-2)
3. Kansas City Wiz: 20 pts. (6-4-2: 23 GF, 18 GA, +5; home, 3-2-0; away, 3-2-2)
4. DC United: 17 pts. (5-4-2: 18 GF, 16 GA, +2; home, 4-1-1; away, 1-3-1)
5. Columbus Crew: 15 pts. (3-4-6: 17 GF, 21 GA, -4; home, 2-1-4; away, 1-3-2)
6. Chicago Fire: 14 pts. (4-6-2: 12 GF, 19 GA, -7; home, 3-2-1; away, 1-3-1)
7. Toronto FC: 13 pts. (4-7-1: 14 GF, 21 GA, -7; home, 4-3-0; away, 0-4-1)
Western Conference
1. FC Dallas: 25 pts. (8-6-1: 19 GF, 21 GA, -2; home, 3-2-0; away, 5-4-1)
2. Houston Dynamo: 22 pts. (7-5-1: 16 GF, 10 GA, +6; home, 4-2-1; away, 3-3-0)
3. Chivas USA: 17 pts. (5-4-2: 15 GF, 12 GA; +3; home, 4-0-1; away, 1-4-1)
4. Colorado Rapids: 15 pts. (4-6-3: 13 GF, 17 GA, -4; home 2-2-3; away, 2-4-0)
5. Los Angeles Galaxy: 9 pts. (2-5-3: 13 GF, 16 GA, -3; home, 2-3-1; away, 0-2-2)
6. Real Salt Lake: 9 pts. (1-5-6: 11 GF, 19 GA, -8; home, 1-2-3; away, 0-3-3)
Showing posts with label Week 12. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Week 12. Show all posts
A Surly MLS Week 12 Review
For the record, I did all my Major League Soccer (MLS) viewing on Sunday morning before the U.S./Mexico final. And, let me tell you, the two games I saw just paled in comparison: the play was slow, stilted, and, at times, uninterested. In one game in particular (first mentioned below), the players for both teams positively lumbered around as if high on cough medicine. Is this a function of the dog-days having arrived or does MLS always suffer against a direct comparison against national team games with everything on the line?
If it's the former - and I think it could be, 'cause I've seen some great MLS games in my day - the league's competition committee really needs to get this in hand. The two products I, ahem, enjoyed yesterday morning didn't hold up well.
Getting on to the games I saw and the ones for which I merely reviewed the highlights (noted in each instance)....
Colorado Rapids 0 - 1 FC Dallas
(Endured every minute of this pig...when I could help fast forwarding...ugh)
- Perhaps the rumors are true: perhaps Colorado really, really sucks. FC Dallas hardly shined either. And their defense looked almost amateur at times. This one made for a spectacle on par with watching necrophiliac porn...without the "creepy factor" to render the proceedings interesting. That both sides showed CPA-esque levels of creativity didn't help.
- Was it hot in Denver on Saturday? I can think of no other reason for a game involing professionals to suck that horribly hard.
- Is Fernando Clavijo's seat getting hot yet? If not, it should be.
- Badly as Dallas played, they at least manufactured a chance or two. One of these - the one that sent in Carlos Ruiz alone on goal - stands as an exemplar for the game as a whole: Ruiz hesitated to the point of paralysis, while Rapids 'keeper Bouna Coundoul pretty much sat down and fell on top of the ball. So...fucking...ugly...
New England Revolution 3 - 0 Toronto FC
(took in all of this affair...in spite of the periodic fit)
- Sure, I'm happy New England won and all, but this one wasn't much to look at either. New England won this duel of wayward balls over the top courtesy of a slight edge in quality of personnel, but choppy play and sloppy give-aways predominated.
- Toronto, for their part, looked downright feeble. Reis had a save or two to make (six? they credit him with six?), but Toronto offered nothing that stood out.
- Well, New England's third goal was pretty nice...and good to see Dorman get back on the goal-scoring pony. On a related note, Adam Cristman showed savvy beyond his years with the set-up to this one; anyone know where he is with Rookie-of-the-Year honors?
- And, OK, Noonan turned in a smart headed goal as well. Anyone know where Adam Cristman is in the rookie-So, yeah, the had its moments - and I have to confess that, every time I resorted to fast-forwarding the archived online video, something happened that required me to stop and go back.
- But I also remember being so achingly bored, and so often, that I continually resorted to fast-forwarding.
- The only player who really stood out for Toronto did so for all the wrong reasons: Kevin Goldthwaite had a rough night.
- All in all, this was a good, timely win for New England. But they looked far from polished, let alone interesting.
Moving on, now, to the highly impressionistic results-based reviews - I'll state I watched the highlights when I did and acknowledge it when I didn't. Taking things chronologically, I already posted something quick (and possibly useless) on the Houston Dynamo's rout of Chivas USA (and finally saw Brad Davis' hat trick - the second goal was a beaut), but never got to....
Columbus Crew 2 - 1 Kansas City Wizards
(Caught the highlights...fun stuff)
- Hindsight being 20/20 and all that, this was the beginning of a very good week for the Crew; how's 5th in the East sound Mr. Schmid?
- And get this: Eddie Gaven scored.
- As (ridiculously) proud as I am to have seen the Crew's streak coming (I'm not going to find it, but it's down in the archives), the Wizards' issues on defense strikes me as the more newsworthy item. The KC team definitely has some things to figure out.
Real Salt Lake 2 - 1 DC United
(highlights....and sweet, sweet ones at that)
- Could any individual from this country and associated with soccer be happier than Jason Kreis right now?
- Possibly: it may or may not be Robbie Findley; the rookie picked up both goals, the last of which (I think) was wonderfully taken off a break-away.
- Credit DC fans for seeing this one coming...at least I think they did. It looks like they have a West Brom Albion of their very own in RSL.
- Regarding DC's goal...shit...damn near unwatchable, that one. Hide the children....
- I don't think this unexpected result does much to my opinion of either team - but the hiccup for both is duly noted.
Los Angeles Galaxy 2 - 3 Columbus Crew
(Delicious, heart-breaking highlights...I laughed and laughed)
- For my money, this week's Result of Note.
- And quelle embarrassing for LA: Columbus played them evenly - e.g. goal-for-goal - with a man down for 60 minutes. Those new recruits just can't come soon enough.
- To make things worse, it's only a lousier goal-differential that makes them better than 2007 whipping boys Real Salt Lake. Do we have a new whipee?
- Turning to Columbus, it'll be interesting to see where self-belief meets talent with this team. Seven points from a possible nine over the last three games should take care of the belief side.
- On the talent side, what to make of the Alejandro Moreno trade? Why does that look like the piece that brought everything together?
- Whatever it was, I'm guessing Red Bull New York - who sat idle this week - is looking at Columbus differently after this past weekend.
- The $64,000 question: how will the rest of LA respond to the arrival/return of Beckham, Carlos Pavon, and Landon Donovan? That's a lot of talent, too much, I'm thinking, for a turn-around to not happen. Then again, what if it doesn't?
Kansas City Wizards 0 - 1 Houston Dynamo
(Didn't catch a single sight of this one....hope it was OK)
- Yes...it's going to be very interesting to see how people view Kansas City after Week 12.
- Ditto with the Dynamo. At least one team in the West is waking up.
If it's the former - and I think it could be, 'cause I've seen some great MLS games in my day - the league's competition committee really needs to get this in hand. The two products I, ahem, enjoyed yesterday morning didn't hold up well.
Getting on to the games I saw and the ones for which I merely reviewed the highlights (noted in each instance)....
Colorado Rapids 0 - 1 FC Dallas
(Endured every minute of this pig...when I could help fast forwarding...ugh)
- Perhaps the rumors are true: perhaps Colorado really, really sucks. FC Dallas hardly shined either. And their defense looked almost amateur at times. This one made for a spectacle on par with watching necrophiliac porn...without the "creepy factor" to render the proceedings interesting. That both sides showed CPA-esque levels of creativity didn't help.
- Was it hot in Denver on Saturday? I can think of no other reason for a game involing professionals to suck that horribly hard.
- Is Fernando Clavijo's seat getting hot yet? If not, it should be.
- Badly as Dallas played, they at least manufactured a chance or two. One of these - the one that sent in Carlos Ruiz alone on goal - stands as an exemplar for the game as a whole: Ruiz hesitated to the point of paralysis, while Rapids 'keeper Bouna Coundoul pretty much sat down and fell on top of the ball. So...fucking...ugly...
New England Revolution 3 - 0 Toronto FC
(took in all of this affair...in spite of the periodic fit)
- Sure, I'm happy New England won and all, but this one wasn't much to look at either. New England won this duel of wayward balls over the top courtesy of a slight edge in quality of personnel, but choppy play and sloppy give-aways predominated.
- Toronto, for their part, looked downright feeble. Reis had a save or two to make (six? they credit him with six?), but Toronto offered nothing that stood out.
- Well, New England's third goal was pretty nice...and good to see Dorman get back on the goal-scoring pony. On a related note, Adam Cristman showed savvy beyond his years with the set-up to this one; anyone know where he is with Rookie-of-the-Year honors?
- And, OK, Noonan turned in a smart headed goal as well. Anyone know where Adam Cristman is in the rookie-So, yeah, the had its moments - and I have to confess that, every time I resorted to fast-forwarding the archived online video, something happened that required me to stop and go back.
- But I also remember being so achingly bored, and so often, that I continually resorted to fast-forwarding.
- The only player who really stood out for Toronto did so for all the wrong reasons: Kevin Goldthwaite had a rough night.
- All in all, this was a good, timely win for New England. But they looked far from polished, let alone interesting.
Moving on, now, to the highly impressionistic results-based reviews - I'll state I watched the highlights when I did and acknowledge it when I didn't. Taking things chronologically, I already posted something quick (and possibly useless) on the Houston Dynamo's rout of Chivas USA (and finally saw Brad Davis' hat trick - the second goal was a beaut), but never got to....
Columbus Crew 2 - 1 Kansas City Wizards
(Caught the highlights...fun stuff)
- Hindsight being 20/20 and all that, this was the beginning of a very good week for the Crew; how's 5th in the East sound Mr. Schmid?
- And get this: Eddie Gaven scored.
- As (ridiculously) proud as I am to have seen the Crew's streak coming (I'm not going to find it, but it's down in the archives), the Wizards' issues on defense strikes me as the more newsworthy item. The KC team definitely has some things to figure out.
Real Salt Lake 2 - 1 DC United
(highlights....and sweet, sweet ones at that)
- Could any individual from this country and associated with soccer be happier than Jason Kreis right now?
- Possibly: it may or may not be Robbie Findley; the rookie picked up both goals, the last of which (I think) was wonderfully taken off a break-away.
- Credit DC fans for seeing this one coming...at least I think they did. It looks like they have a West Brom Albion of their very own in RSL.
- Regarding DC's goal...shit...damn near unwatchable, that one. Hide the children....
- I don't think this unexpected result does much to my opinion of either team - but the hiccup for both is duly noted.
Los Angeles Galaxy 2 - 3 Columbus Crew
(Delicious, heart-breaking highlights...I laughed and laughed)
- For my money, this week's Result of Note.
- And quelle embarrassing for LA: Columbus played them evenly - e.g. goal-for-goal - with a man down for 60 minutes. Those new recruits just can't come soon enough.
- To make things worse, it's only a lousier goal-differential that makes them better than 2007 whipping boys Real Salt Lake. Do we have a new whipee?
- Turning to Columbus, it'll be interesting to see where self-belief meets talent with this team. Seven points from a possible nine over the last three games should take care of the belief side.
- On the talent side, what to make of the Alejandro Moreno trade? Why does that look like the piece that brought everything together?
- Whatever it was, I'm guessing Red Bull New York - who sat idle this week - is looking at Columbus differently after this past weekend.
- The $64,000 question: how will the rest of LA respond to the arrival/return of Beckham, Carlos Pavon, and Landon Donovan? That's a lot of talent, too much, I'm thinking, for a turn-around to not happen. Then again, what if it doesn't?
Kansas City Wizards 0 - 1 Houston Dynamo
(Didn't catch a single sight of this one....hope it was OK)
- Yes...it's going to be very interesting to see how people view Kansas City after Week 12.
- Ditto with the Dynamo. At least one team in the West is waking up.
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